Cumberland Fell Runners

They set out at dawn. Some on foot others in their chariots from all directions they came and all of them drawn towards the sea, As they passed over the high fells of Sale and Ling they paused, and gathered together to celebrate. In the memory of one who had gone before. One who had inspired fellow man, woman and child to achieve, and after the celebration they continued their journey, they looked down on the waters of the Great Bass, and knew that by nightfall they would arrive at the coliseum on the moor. As they passed through the valley of Hard Knott they stopped to enjoy the pleasures of the bath house at the settlement. They bathed, shaved and cleansed their pores of grime ( and the men scrubbed up as well ) donned togas jewellery and cheap perfume and continued on their way, and as darkness fell they arrived at the home of their fellow kinsmen.

They entered the dinning hall and took up their seats in hieracle order. The officers Elect sat near the stage and so on down to the drunks at the bar. In the middle of the room a magnificent feast lay before them. Tables groaned under the weight of food. Food beyond belief, food beyond compare. Wild Boars head, suckling pig, liver of a horse, kidney of a cat. Sausage rolls made up of this and that. Slices of meat bigger than the plate cut thick enough to wedge a door open, a cauldron of hotpot, succulent lamb, girt chunks of black pudding, with slices of potato as big as yer fist.

This was a bank wet not to be missed.

The Emperor called for all to eat and they descended upon the feast before them. Fill thy plate to over flowing cried out one, Nay fill two plates cried out another, I’ll be back said a third, and on it went.

“Wots in yon pan ower theer cook, Its, la sag knee. Wot, A said its la sag knee, Wots la sag knee ,“pasta” “pasta” yep. Any meat in it, No its vegetables . Vegetables  urgh ! give s some hot pot marra.

They returned to their tables to gorge themselves, cheeks bulging, eyes watering, snorting coughing spitting out food as they laughed, mouths churning food like giant readymixes. Ale and mulled wine flowed freely and slowly their appetites were fulfilled. Throughout the night the captains of the tables would send their fleetest of foot down into the kitchens with orders to return with any scraps of food that might have been left..

Now the emperor called for order it was time to proceed, this the reason they had gathered All in that room gladiators in their own right, never flinching from combat giving their best whatever the outcome, were there to applaud fellow gladiator, those who had risen above all others and become champions, Male, Female, young and old. Each one called into the arena to receive accolade, applause, Genuine warmth and goodwill each one received their trophy and returned to their family clans to continue celebrating

Once more the Emperor called the great hall to order, now the entertainment would begin.Suddenly in a flash of white and nakedness a dancer appeared leaping high, spinning turning like a whirling dervish, behind followed a bevy of beautiful women the most beautiful virgins in the land dressed in traditional silk net vests and see through liberty bodices with rubber buttons, they wore fally down stockings dancing provocatively, enticingly , drove the male gladiators into a frenzied passion. The Emperor cried out DO YOU WANT MORE ! YES, came the reply DO YOU WANT MORE! YES, again, thankfully it was thumbs up , not thumbs down, they would live to dance another day. The celebration went on long into the night. Eating, drinking dancing and a quick nip round the back.

And as they drank, they got drunk.

And as they got drunk, they fell.

And where they fell they slept.

And they slept oblivious of the long fingers that would visit them in the dark and relieve them of a soo or two. In the morning they stirred, wakened with the pangs of hunger again. They found the old cook working in the kitchen a mountain of pans to wash. Wots for breakfast they inquired Wot said the cook, Wots for breakfast they chorused threateningly the old cook stepped back frightened then a twinkle appeared in his eyes LA SAG KNEE he said puffing up his chest, WITH VEGATABLES they all turned and fled !!!

Lets stop here for a moment and travel forward in time to.

      CUMERLAND FELL RUNNERS presentation night 2004.

Did you go.     I was there.   Think about it for a moment.

Nowt much changed was there.
 
Many thanks for all your hard work brilliant night.

You’re running junkie.
MS